Gamer Girls

Oh boy, where to begin? First of all I’d like to start by saying gamer girls are no longer considered a myth, and treated like unicorns in the gaming community. There are a lot of female gamers, and the numbers continue to rise over time. However, two incidents the other day, and a short discussion with a fellow female gamer sparked some old feelings again.

There I was playing Modern Warfare 3(kill confirmed to be exact) minding my own business, speaking my mind as usual. I noticed one particular person who was exceptionally loud in the main lobby had toned himself down quite a bit after I spoke. I assumed he either went into party chat, or ran out of obnoxious things to say. Shortly after the match ended, I received a friend request from this person. I go to check the friend request and attached is a voice message. Basically he said something along the lines of, “I’ve never played with a girl before, you’re pretty good”. Okay, wait.. NEVER played with a girl before? Let me check how long this kids been on Xbox live. What? 2006? He’s been a member of Xbox live since 2006 and he’s NEVER played with a girl before? I decided to get to the bottom of it. I sent a reply asking him if he was using a friend’s account, or was given the account and was new to Xbox. A couple of minutes pass and I receive a message back. His response? No, it’s been his account for years. I shrugged it off as being slightly strange, and didn’t put much more thought into it until later.

A little after lunch I decided to play a few games of Gears,(Gears of War 3) While playing, I was talking, doing call-outs and all that good stuff. Out of nowhere, a very loud disturbing male voice says what I hadn’t heard in a while, “I BET YOU’RE FAT HUH? AND UGLY, TOO” , I continued playing and ignored his stupid comments. After the game, while in the quickmatch lobby, he starts up again, “HEY, (offensive word), I asked you a question. She’s not answering because it’s true. She’s an ugly (offensive word)”. I sighed, and left the lobby. No point in trying to convince an idiot that they are indeed an idiot.

Suddenly, I was brought back to the incident earlier. A guy who’d been playing on Xbox live since 2006, having no encounters with a female in his duration as a member. Are these guys living under a rock? Are they completely oblivious? I haven’t had that kind of experience while gaming in quite some time. I don’t consider myself to be any different from the guys I play with on a daily basis. No, I’m not some hideous abomination hiding my horrid face from the world, whose only social interaction is via internet. I simply love video games! There is no explanation why. Sure, having two older brothers may have contributed, but even my mother is a gamer at heart.

Guys like these make my experience as a female gamer somewhat unpleasant. It won’t stop me from gaming, in fact if anything it motivates me that much more to kick everyone’s ass and then rub it in their face with subtle remarks afterwards. However, if you’re one of these guys do the rest of us a favor, please refrain from further continuing your idiotic chauvinist ways and just play the damn game! If you’re that easily distracted by a female while gaming, or if it bothers you that much, maybe you should consider taking up a new hobby. Just a thought.

Now, being that there are so many female gamers out there today, I no longer feel I have to be on the defensive side when playing a game. I feel like I can relax, be myself, and just get my game on. Sure, you still get the occasional random friend requests solely because you’re a girl, but other than that it’s been pretty normal, and that’s just something you become accustom to as a female in the online gaming community. However, there are still a few stereotypes we true gamer girls are trying to knock.

My ultimate pet peeve as a female gamer would definitely be the girls who play video games solely for male attention. These girls are easy to spot out. Usually their gamertag, or username is flaunting the fact they’re female in an almost derogatory way. For example, “MSHOTTIE98” , “SEXGODDESS”(Yes, I’ve seen it before)  or something of similar stupidity. This girl is usually the one with virtually no kills, no skill, and she becomes extremely aggressive when another female makes her way into the game. She’s usually got a posse of male followers who, sadly, think she is gods gift to the gaming world. Guys might not be able to spot them out as well as other girls who are there to game, and nothing else. These girls give the rest of us a bad reputation. I’ve had several occasions where I joined a game and a fellow teammate who also happened to be female, would start verbally attacking me for no apparent reason. Let me quote a friend of mine from our short discussion last night; “I’m all for empowering women online, but not the ones that are only there to virtually suck everyone’s *oh, you know*, if you know what I’m saying” . For me, that comment was spot on.

So, ladies, if you fit into that particular category can you please do the rest of us girls a favor, and at least try to change your silly ways for the sake of gaming. Either that or find somewhere else to be a nuisance, because some of us happen to take our game-time seriously.

I’m going to end this article by saying, I am in no way trying to come off as complaining, or say how difficult it is to be a girl in the gaming world. I don’t think that way, but the stereotypes are obviously still alive in some of the guys, and even some of the girls. This was a way for me to vent my thoughts, and maybe weed out some of the attention…. horses. If you catch my drift.

A special thank you goes out to my fellow gamer girl, Ashleigh Nadeau.(pictured below) She’s a PC gamer, who according to her, lives and breathes Battlefield 3. Not only that, but she’s a PR specialist for the International Gaming League. She deserves some positive support from anyone willing to give it to her. Go check out her Facebook fan page by clicking the candy icon below. Don’t forget to like her page before you leave it!

Ashleigh Nadeau, PR Specialist for the International Gaming League


In the end I suppose there will always be those few people who just refuse to believe a girl can hang in the gaming community. For those of you reading who happen to think so, I’d love to know why. For those females who hear me out, and understand where I’m coming from let me know how your gaming experience is from day to day. Anyone else’s opinion on the matter is also welcomed with open ears, and an open mind. Let us know what you think!

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    • Lol, the funny thing is, all the guys posting about how much girl gamers whine and bitch and how they piss them off, the truth is the only reason guys bitch is because they cant accept the fact that a girl gamer might be better than them… it’s always been like that… guys can handle being beaten by a another guy but beaten by a girl is a whole other level. Me personally, i accept the fact that there will always be girl or guy gamers that are a lot better than me… The reason girls don’t talk much in games is because high and mighty faggots are so relentless is criticizing someone else…

  1. That’s just the way online gaming is these days. As I’m Scottish, and as soon as I enter a game lobby people start calling me a fat haggis eating bagpipe playing BEEP BEEP. So after I put down my bagpipes and spit out the haggis, I just give them some abuse back.

  2. lol i know those little fanboys get so irritating i was in a match on mw3 once and i killed this chick a couple times and she had her little fanboys kick me out of the game XD

  3. oh freaking great!

    Another story experience from Xbox Live!

    when you stop using the garbage mic on Xbox Live, you wouldn’t experience sh* like you did.

    Just come to PSN, all is well and free.

    Allowing fools to own a mic will cause their alter ego to run free, just because the mic is free they decide to say whatever they want.
    But that is not the case on PSN.

    And I’m freaking tired of ALWAYS reading all these gamer girl topics.
    You complain that you’ve had it for gamers online saying they haven’t played with girls before or gamer girls are a myth. And I’ve had it with gamer girls always making this “particular” topic. You gamer girls always make this type of topic instead of making something else.

    rant over:P
    girls exist but they rather be anon.

    • Dude, shut up.
      “You complain that you’ve had it for gamers online saying they haven’t played with girls before or gamer girls are a myth.”
      First off she clearly states in her article that she’s not complaining. Did you even finish reading it? She’s allowed to talk about her experiences just as much as anyone else.
      “And I’ve had it with gamer girls always making this “particular” topic. You gamer girls always make this type of topic instead of making something else.”
      WRONG AGAIN. I’ve read several of her articles on this website before today that had nothing to do with being a girl gamer. Don’t push her into a category of whiny female gamers when she listed her biggest pet peeve as OTHER female “gamers” who don’t take gaming as seriously as she does.

      Sure, you’re allowed to have an opinion but maybe you should learn to read, and fully comprehend what you’re reading before you blurt out a bunch of BS and come off as a complete dipsh*t.

      Maybe girls write about this topic so much for a reason, and people like you push it aside as non-sense and don’t take notice to it thus continuing the problem. The reason girls write about being a female in the gaming world is because that’s exactly what they are considered. They are FIRST considered a female, and then a gamer. A guy who games isn’t a “guy gamer” he’s just a gamer. Girl gamers suffer through a lot of stereotypes and girls like ‘KellyJ’ endure this type of abuse from a community where she should be accepted as exactly what she is, a gamer, and not what sex she is. Yet she continues to play proving her to be more a gamer than most guys I know.

      You can argue that guys endure the abuse, too, but it’s nothing like what female gamers go through. I’m not trying to come off as a knight in shining armor here, I’m just pointing out the obvious, and people like you who miss the point entirely happen to be a big part in why female gamers continue to write these articles.

  4. You girls are really starting to bore me with these repetitive articles, the story is the same crap, guy insults you and in typical girl fashion, you write an article like it’s a diary.
    Here’s a tip for all girl gamers, try playing something different than shooting games….we do need some competition in fighting games.
    We have yet to see a girl that can actually compete with us in KOF, Marvel vs Capcom, SF …no I’m not talking about button bashers like Tekken, Soul Calibur.

    • dont like it dont read it then asshole ur prob one of those chauvinist losers shes talkin about. get off ur high horse and give the girl some credit for putting up with ppl like u.

    • spot on Truth Shall Set Your Ass Free.
      That is exactly what I’m trying to say!

      When ever I see an article about Girl gamer, it is nothing new but the same repetitive rant about their experience online. And the annoying part is, it’s not even other “online” system but always on Xbox Live!
      Xbox Live spawns the retarded and morons of the world online. If you cannot play a game without using a damn mic, DON’T play on Xbox Live or you will face the wrath of the assholes by annoying singing and degrading name calling.

      Here’s my tip for all girl gamer. Stop being ANON and start socialising online!
      If you don’t want boys to be surprise when they encounter a girl online, try to show yourself more online.
      If you don’t want to be treated like weak, try socialising and prove that girls don’t hide playing games.
      If you don’t want trash abuse, don’t use Xbox live, switch to PC or PS3!

      • Uhhh Xbox live IS socializing online dumbass. How dull are you? and I’m gonna have to agree with carl down there the reason girls talk about this stuff so much is because of dipshits like you who refuse to believe its a problem. get a life, both of you losers. if you dont like what she has to say then why read it ?? some of the shit you say doesnt even make sense so why should anyone listen to you.

          • Haha you’re one of the dicks she’s referring to! Aww you sad there wasn’t a naked female in this article? Boohoo. I think you’re the one in need of some p*ssy Xino. Now grow the fuck up.

    • You’re a complete sexist moron. I can tell just by the way you worded your reply to her article. This isn’t a diary entry, it’s a legitimate issue. Losers like you overlook things like this because you’re the root of the problem. Girls do play fighting games, so who are you referring to when you say “we”. I’ve had my ass handed to me by a girl in plenty of fighting games. You’re obviously living in the dark ages. Did you know women could vote, too?! Get a life.

  5. You hate on girls for flaunting the fact they are female, and what are you doing? Posting the woes of a gamer girl, a dead horse topic if I’ve ever heard one. Congrats on being one of us “attention horses.” The Dark Sisterhood welcomes you.

    I’ll tell you something. My boyfriend gets more abuse on games than I do, because he is male and I’m pretty sure most guys are more comfortable with insulting other guys than with insulting girls. I get a social reject every once in a while, but it’s nothing to write home about, and definitely nothing to write a blog about. Who cares, they’re idiots. Harden the fuck up. If you’re such a gamer and truly believe other girls shouldn’t play the gender card, this blog post should not exist. Because you’re playing the gender card. Right now. If guys wrote a blog every time they were called fat, ugly, or living in their parents’ basements, the interwebs would explode.

    Also, you act like trying to get male attention is a bad thing. Why? Um, don’t we all try to get attention from people we’re attracted to? Welcome to the world of “Everyone loves sex, even women.” I met my boyfriend gaming and flirted mercilessly to get that cute nerd boy into my pants and I did it with the name Kitten. And I am not ashamed of it either. I’m rather proud of it, actually. I got my prize and we’ve been living together two years now. I wanted a nice, cute (nerdy is cute to me, I can’t help it), funny guy who loved gaming as much as I do, and I got one.

    Slut-shaming doesn’t really work on people once they realize that it is about insecurity on the other person’s part. No one has to play by your rules. If I want to be SexGoddess1894, I will be SexGoddess1894, because I am not ashamed of 1. being a woman, 2. being fucking sexy, 3. loving sex, and 4. loving nerdy men and women. There is nothing shameful about females flirting. Never will be. I think perhaps you should ask yourself why you feel this way. Because it seems to me that you might be a little more competitive when it comes to male attention than you think you are.

    Just chalk me up as another of those “other” aggressive females who just can’t stand being in competition with your amazingness, Ms. Hardcore Female Gamer.

    • I bet you’re a guy posing as a girl with standards like that. And “dead horse” topic? My, you don’t play at all.

      I also met my boyfriend online but I never had to resort to my “slutty” side to achieve it (and we’ve been together 5 years and counting.) There is nothing wrong with being sexual and loving sex, but there’s also having some respect for yourself and knowing when it is the right time to properly execute “sexiness”. If you’ve read the article correctly, you’d realize that Miss Kelly J is tough like a rock, but she’s simply expressing an opinion on the matter because it’s quite annoying that there are other female gamers that poorly misrepresent the female gaming community (and especially those that KellyJ pointed out – the fake gamers only seeking attention online probably because they seemed to have failed in that area in real life).

      And hardcore gamers (whether female or male) are more interested in playing the game, not showing off particular assets of their sex.

      Anyways, please continue sporting your SEXGODDESS69WTFLOL tags. More power to you. Maybe eventually you’ll grow up and want to present yourself in a less demeaning way.

    • Wow! I bet you feel so proud of yourself for your little rant towards Kelly J. Thing is, you managed to misunderstand what the entire blog topic was about while simultaneously making yourself out to be a total dumb bitch. If you consider yourself a gamer, and you do well, then clearly she’s not referring to you so why be offended? Oh, because you’re exactly what she’s talking about, right? You’re one of those annoying game sluts who plays for male attention. Now you’re trying to seem even ‘cooler’ to the male audience by trying to bash Kelly J for making a few valid points. Clearly you have issues, so I won’t say much more other than it’s probably best you keep your mouth shut from now on especially in regards to topics like this considering you’re so butthurt about her calling you out :) If anyone is trying to come off as “hardcore” it’s you, but you managed to fuck that up as well. Good job.

  6. All online gaming abuse has got out of hand lately due to the simple fact that parents buy games meant for people 18+ to let their 10-13 year old kids play online..

    Back on topic, I borrowed my brother’s PS3 back in 2010 as I didn’t have one and after having it a year (yes he lent it to me for that long, lol) I only come across one female gamer and funnily enough that was on Fifa 10 and boy I thought I was good but she whooped me something cronic. Back then I hardly come across anyone under 15 years old during that whole year, mic abuse was at minimum.

    Back in October 2011 I decided to get myself a PS3 and I enjoy online Multiplayer except for BF3, I have never played any BF game and I think 3 was the wrong game to start gaming with. I have realised that when some male gamers think they are playing against or on the side of a female gamer they tend to help or some how show off on occasions, either via mic or gaming skills. to me it doesn’t matter I just laugh a them I am not online to pull anyone or show off to anyone. Most of the so called female gamers on PS3 have no mic just (girl) in their clan tag..yes an old trick, but some males fall for it. So from 2010 until now I have only come across 1 guaranteed female gamer as we both had mics during our game of Fifa 10. (Not including my brother’s girlfriend so you could count that as 2 female gamers). I have no doubt there are many many more female gamers out there some of them probably have names that wouldn’t give away their gender. I too have spotted the Hottie86 or SinglePrincess, FunPrincess names in some lobbies, attention horses as you would say lol. I will admit to giving banter, for example if i kill someone first on MW3 Multiplayer i will let them know about it and I absolutely suck at the game but I find it adds a little rivalry if it is done the right way and not to aggressively. I’ll gladly take banter back no problem, but I do feel silly when I get owned on the game winning killcam after bantering with the person killing me..but it is all done in fun and I treat everyone the same online, male or female..just how it is.